I was in General Cepeda recently for a couple of weeks which was full of all the small ways we serve one another. Which we all know the small things are really the big things. The trip itself was this beautiful realization yet again, how doing Gods work here on earth is truly just a privilege to do. That he chose me; me to do this & all he is asking of me is to love. I think in our “busy” lives or this “busy” world we can forget how many opportunities there are to have beautiful encounters with each-other.
One of those beautiful encounters happened at Kilometer 64, which is a rancho full of woman who once were and still are prostitutes. The missionaries who started this ministry help them make bracelets and handbags to sell to earn an income. They took a group of us to do bible studies with them as well as share testimonies. These women were so faithful and had incredibly wise things to say about hope. On our last night they wanted to do a big potluck for us. As soon as we finished our bible study, they started a fire outside, brought in someone’s kitchen table and made all of us sit at it. They then proceeded to serve us all these delicious foods, It was the literal definition of a feast. These women are poor but delighted so much in serving us.
The most impactful bond I was able to make was with a woman named Doña Marciana that I met in General Cepeda during a home visit. The first time I encountered Doña she was wailing and crying out. She is an elderly woman who had been bedridden for two months. She was laying on her death-bed and was in so much pain throughout her whole entire body. My fellow missionaries began to pray a rosary to Our Lady of Guadalupe. I climbed into bed with her and just held her. At one point she asked if I could rub some cream on her legs to help with the soreness and circulation. The following day, when I went to visit her, she was sleeping, so we prayed over her quietly. We decided to stay and talked with her daughter Golla in the other room. Her daughter is in her 60’s and is her only caretaker which has been burdensome for her at times. She evangelized to us, as she talked about how we must abandon everything to the Lord and entrust everything to him. Suddenly, her mother woke up but to our surprise she was filled with so much joy. She was feeling no pain, laughing and telling us jokes, telling us how much she loved us and how much these visits meant to her. I got her to eat a big mouthful of bread which was monumental because she hasn’t been eating or drinking hardly at all the past two months. The last day I was to visit Doña she was feeling the worst she had been all week. Again, I got into bed with her as she was wailing out and held her. She let me change her and rub cream on her bed sores. These few moments with this woman imprinted on my heart forever.
I had one of my best friends named Kristen pass away as I was driving to Mexico to embark on this journey with the Lord. I could not take care of her as she was dying or go to her in her time of need. However, the Lord let me do this for Dona. I had few brief moments where I felt like I was looking into the eyes of Kristen. Most of the time however, I knew the lord was truly just letting me hold him. How humbling is that. To think who am I to be able to do this? The world would say you are just a stranger in someone’s home, but the lord would say that we all are brothers and sisters. The veil between Heaven and Earth is far thinner than we realize. We do not have to wait until Heaven to be united in love, we can have it now.
What is love – is it something that is deep and raw and vulnerable and powerful that we cannot quite grasp. Love by definition is good because it directly comes from our Father in Heaven. He is love. In our own humanness we will never fully reach that, but he is saying, “Child that is enough for me.” Which is true because even when my own human love falls short… He will remain. His love, His healing and what He is doing in all the hearts of the people I encounter is abiding and everlasting in this imperfect world.
St. Pope John Paul II put it perfectly in his encyclical letter titled Mission of the Redeemer:
“The missionary is required to “renounce himself and everything that up to this point he considered as his own, and to make himself everything to everyone.” This he does by a poverty which sets him free for the Gospel, overcoming attachment to the people and things about him, so that he may become a brother to those to whom he is sent and thus bring them Christ the Savior. This is the goal of missionary spirituality: “To the weak I became weak…. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. I do it all for the sake of the Gospel…” (1 Cor 9:22-23) It is precisely because he is “sent” that the missionary experiences the consoling presence of Christ, who is with him at every moment of life and who awaits him in the heart of every person. “(pg. 153)
Our god works in all the exact opposite ways that the world would work. As painful as it can be at times to grow or to stretch, the fruit it reaps is greater than anything we could conjure up in our lifetime. His goal is not to rob us. He is purposed to see what you lack and fill it with more of him. He does not leave us without peace to cling to or a truth to have hope in. He is that good. Do not let your circumstances define who he is for you, or what the outcome will be. Where we start to where we will end up is limitless with him. Realizing that our humanity craves easier routes and the avoidance of anything that would entail endurance. – but it’s those hard things that create more endurance in us. We must wait and trust the process, believing in the one who sees over our path – believe him even if the journey looks different from what you expected or hoped because he has something more to give you. Most importantly let him love you in this all-consuming way and see how much you can feel Christ’s burning love for souls.
Chasing His Joy 